The case of the pond. Funny joke..

An elderly man in North Carolina owned a large farm that happened to have a large pond.
It was just the right size for swimming, so he fixed it up with a picnic table, a dock, and shade trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to take a walk down to the pond and grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing.
As he approached the pond, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
Not wanting to startle the women he made them aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'We are not coming out until you leave!
The old man smiled and said, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked.
He held up the five-gallon paid and said, "I am here to feed the my alligator."

 The case of the pond - Animated joke.
 Next funny joke. 

Good girls versus bad girls. Joke in English.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot.
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons!
Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it.
Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it!
Good girls wax their floors.
Bad girls wax their bikini lines!
Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie.
Bad girls know they could do it better!
Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls.
Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls!
Good girls wear high heels to work.
Bad girls wear high heels to bed!
Good girls say, "No!"
Bad girls say, "When?"

Animated joke - Good girls versus bad girls.
Next Joke in English - Talents and fans.

Talents and fans. Joke in English.

Two drunk women talking in a cafe.
- I have a culinary talent! You know how I cook, right?!
- Great cook! I tried it, it's delicious.
- Do you know how I sew?!
- Of course, I have same two dozen your dresses!
- I have a great husband! You know that?!
- Certainly. A hundred times tried!....

Animated joke - Talents and fans.
Next joke in English - Pay raise. Joke in English.
 

Pay raise. Joke in English.

Gordon: Good morning, Mister Lee. I have been with your firm for six years.
Lee: How time flies.
Gordon: I have never asked for a pay raise before.
Lee: You are misrepresenting the problem, Mister Gordon.
You really worked at our firm for six years. But precisely because you never asked for a pay raise.

Next joke in English - What color lingerie? Joke in English.
Animated joke - Pay raise.

What color lingerie? Joke in English.

 Husband and wife sitting in a restaurant and talking
- Darling, thank you for taking care of me and buying me 10 sets of lingerier. You even got the right size. But all these sets are the same color.
- Honey, what is the problem?
- Darling, people might say I don't change my lingerie at all.
- Honey, who are these people?

Next joke in English. - How to know the sex of flies? Joke in English.
Animated joke  -  What color lingerie?

How to know the sex of flies? Joke in English.

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

Next joke in English - "Women's legs. Joke in English".

Animated joke - "How to know the sex of flies?"

Women's legs. Joke in English.

Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 14 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 21 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies.
At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says:
- At least they are finally together.
A guy sitting in the front row says:
- Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?
The priest says:
- I mean her legs.

Animated joke - Women's legs. Joke in English.